The Emotional Toll of a Parent's Illness on Children

For kids, childhood is nothing less than the challenge of picking which pen to carry or how to convince the parents to buy them chocolate. What happens when things turn completely upside down?

Whether it’s due to parents getting ill or a proceeding divorce. But when it comes to a parent's illness, things take a worse toll and hit a child with such emotions they don’t even have words for.

Read this interesting article on how a parent's illness can take an emotional toll on children and it could be dealt with.

For kids, parents are their superheroes—the ones who fix their broken toys and the ones who have a way to solve every problem. However, when you fall ill, their image of a superhero crumbles.

And suddenly a parent who could do everything is struggling just to get through the day. Moreover, when a child sees their parents struggling, they consider it as some sense of loss, which is indeed terrifying for them.

In fact, the situation also seems like a loss of the carefree childhood, stability, and just a mere adjustment to the new reality. It’s as if they’re left all alone and trying to make sense of everything.

However, their resilience lets them balance things and learn lessons early, yet it makes them stronger.

Did you know that kids are experts at tucking up their emotions? However, when a parent feels sick, sometimes it gets difficult for them to keep their heavy emotions from spilling out. It might be in the form of guilt, which ends up believing themselves to be the reason behind their parent’s illness. Concerns like ‘If I had been better’ or ‘If I had done things according to them’”--- seem like a heavy burden on their young, delicate shoulders.

The other unwelcome guest to the table is the feeling of fear. It’s not uncommon for thoughts like ‘will my dad or mom never get better?’ or ‘what if anything happens to them?’ to cross their minds every second of the day. Of course, this anxiety is hard to deal with. While the feelings of anger, frustration, and sadness are illogical, they are just emotions that sometimes do overpower.

The best thing you can do for your child is to let their inner storm outburst and let them understand it’s okay to feel every emotion they’re feeling at the moment.

Finding light in the dark is what is needed in such circumstances and is the one thing that kids know better than us. It may be due to their natural resilience or they have never been taught to stick to the negative part for long. This ability to find humor in the darkest situations—seeing their parents make the weirdest faces while taking their pills or maybe making a silly joke to have the prettiest smile on their parent’s face.

After all, laughter is the best medicine. Laughter doesn't mean the pain is not real; it means there is still room for joy even in the toughest situations.

Though it’s important to let your child be informed of your family situations, sometimes the best thing is to let them just be kids—away from the heaviness of the circumstances, especially if they’re too young.

Let them be engaged in playing with their friends, attending school, and simply being lost in their good books. While it’s true that a parent's illness can take away their kid’s childhood, it should not take away their joy of being a kid.

Overall, a perfect balance between honesty and protection forms the essence of maintaining normalcy to some extent.

The gist to take away is—it’s okay to not be okay. Parent’s illness can change things—from days when emotions are at their peak till days when everything feels too heavy, there’s still a way to figure things out and make a better place for your kids to not take away the joys of their childhood. Illness is more of a way to find strength and love that you never knew was possible. There’s always a silver lining, and with some laughter and hope, your kids will certainly find a way to carry on.