Parents: Here’s What You Should Do When Your Kids Act Mean

Every parent dreams of raising polite and well-mannered kids. However, the truth is sometimes even the sweetest kids can turn mean.

Whether he snaps at his sibling, says some hurtful things to his friend, or maybe gives you a mean eye roll. As this mean streak channels in your kid, you end up having high levels of frustration, shock, and some embarrassment.

The main question that most parents ask is: What should they do when they find your darling child turning into a mini-bully? And how can they handle such situations when their kid’s actions and words start turning mean? The reality is—this is just a phase of growing up and learning how to control your emotions.

Read this article to explore some of the best ways you can deal when your kids act mean and what you should do.

It’s never a bad idea to take a moment of pause and breathe for a while before reacting to the situation when your kid acted mean. Sometimes, parents hurry up too much to say, ‘How could you say that?’

Instead, before reacting, address your reaction that it does not reflect anger but rather patience and a calm mind. Trying to correct a bad behavior with anger will add more to it rather than being effective. You also know that, at times, a kid’s meanness may be their way of dealing with their own emotions.

Therefore, try letting them know that lashing out at every situation is not a way to address things. 

Meanness is most often a symptom and not the problem. Therefore, know that if your kid has suddenly acted mean, it might be an indication that he is unable to process something he has recently dealt with. It could be either frustration, jealousy, or even embarrassment.

So, instead of getting angry at them, ask them, ‘Is there anything that’s bothering you?’ or ‘Did something happen that made you act this way?’

This will help your child act upon their emotions and can openly communicate with you about what’s really going on.

Yes, empathy is actually a skill and not always something they get. In simple words, it’s more like teaching them to ride a bicycle that comes with practice.

Therefore, whenever your child acts mean, consider this as an opportunity to let your child know that their words and actions can actually impact others. You could ask them, ‘Do you know how your friend felt when you said that to him?’

This role-reversal approach can actually help open their eyes, and eventually they will learn to address their words and actions before going ahead. Moreover,  having a perspective of someone even makes it less likely to repeat the mean behavior again.

With this, we don’t mean laughing at it. Rather, it’s more about teaching them kindness with playful games for better behavior. If you find the elder sibling snapping at the younger one, you may make a sarcastic comment like, ‘Oh, who turned on the grumpy bear switch?’

Overall, when you add some humor into tensed situations, kids are a lot more likely to realize their mistake and bad behavior without getting scared of the lengthy lectures. This also gives them a chance to move forward with better behavior.

It is important for kids to know their boundaries about what’s acceptable and what’s not.

However, when they act mean, setting boundaries that actually make sense can be quite overwhelming. Instead of giving huge punishments, consider keeping the consequences immediate yet logical.

If you find your child being mean to his sibling, ask them to take a break from playing together until they cool off and realize their mistake.

Boundaries are a way to learn the consequences of their actions instead of crushing their spirits and to help them reflect upon a positive behavior.

Parenting is not always about raising the sweetest kids; sometimes it also helps them deal with their phase of messy and mean moments.

So the next time your child acts out, take it as an opportunity to make them learn and grow. And for you, it’s the time to take a deep breath, tap into your playful side, and make those tense situations a little less.