Is Intensive Parenting Hurting or Helping Kids?

As parents, do you also feel like parenting nowadays comes with a rulebook thicker than your child’s mathematics book? If that’s the case, this is known as intensive parenting or what is called helicopter parenting. Most parents want to interfere in every aspect of their kid’s life—from academics to emotional boundaries.

But are these relentless efforts of yours actually encouraging your child for success, or are you unintentionally doing more harm than good?

Read below this article to explore whether intensive parenting actually helps or hurts kids in the long run.

Intensive parenting is one of the parenting styles where parents feel the need to control every factor in a child's development to ensure they give them the best future.

However, with this good intention, parents unfortunately end up tracking every activity of their kid, managing their friendships, and ensuring no stone is left unturned when it comes to the success of their child. However, the rise of social media has further intensified the competitiveness.

In fact, according to the American Psychological Association, nearly 60 percent of parents admit to feeling constant pressure to be the perfect parents. However, the consequences of this desire may sometimes not align with the happiness of your child.

The benefits of engaged parenting are undeniable. According to a study, children with actively involved parents often perform better academically and show only a few behavioral issues. And they even develop stronger bonds with the family members. Overall, kids benefit from feeling supported and having parents who are invested in their lives.

However, some psychologists believe that intensive parenting helps parents to guide their child in the face of adversities and give them the skills needed to deal with life. It's typically protecting your child from the harsh realities of the outside world.

The reality is—there’s a very thin line between engagement and control.

The catch here is—intensive parenting can be suffocating. When every aspect of a child’s life is being managed and investigated, it hinders your little one’s development into a self-sufficient and resilient adult in the long run. In the face of saving them from the outside world, they actually miss out on the essential life skills much needed for dealing with failure, taking responsibility, and making independent decisions for their own.

Moreover, according to a study, kids raised using an intensive parenting approach have higher chances to experience depression and anxiety. The constant hovering actually makes it harder for these kids to cope with stress on their own.

The surprising part is that 68 percent of college students with overly involved parents experience feelings of burnout and lack of motivation, as per a report. After all, when everything is handed to them, kids can start to lack the drive and curiosity that come from independence.

Not just kids, but parents also do experience the weight of intensive parenting with stress and burnout. The pressure to be constantly present, knowledgeable, and in control might be overwhelming. Nearly 70 percent of parents feel overwhelmed by the expectations of modern parenting. And this pressure often spills over into interactions with kids, setting up an environment that’s toxic for both the parents and the child.

The ironical thing is—when parents focus on creating perfect childhoods, they often overlook the most important thing, i.e., balance. In short, over-involvement can sometimes take away the experiences.

A balance is a much-needed aspect of everything. The same goes for parenting. While intensive parenting comes from the idea to ensure your child gets the success and happiness he deserves. However, unintentionally, it takes away life experiences and their abilities to develop essential life skills, including resilience and making independent decisions. After all, there’s a very fine line between giving support and taking control. In the end, the decision is yours—whether it's okay to step back sometimes to lead at all times.