How to Get Your Children to Behave at Restaurants?

Why Restaurant Etiquette Matters?

Tips for Raising Well-Behaved Restaurant Kids

• Start with Home Practice: Think of restaurant behavior like any other skill – it needs practice. Set up pretend restaurant scenarios at home. Make it fun! Let your kids take turns being servers, customers, and chefs. Use this playful setting to teach basic restaurant manners like using indoor voices, staying seated, and handling utensils properly. When kids practice these skills through play, they're more likely to remember them in real situations. For a deeper dive into this topic, check out our article “Helping children develop good manners and social skills.”
• Choose Your Battles (and Restaurants) Wisely: Your child's first fine dining experience probably shouldn't be a three-hour affair at the fanciest place in town. Start with family-friendly restaurants where a little noise won't raise eyebrows. Gradually work your way up to quieter establishments as their behavior improves. Also, timing is everything – trying to manage hungry, tired kids during peak dinner hours is asking for trouble. Consider early dinners or lunch outings when restaurants are less crowded, and your kids are fresh.
• The Preparation Game: Remember when you'd pack like you were moving countries just to go to the grocery store with your baby? Well, restaurant visits need similar preparation. Bring quiet activities like coloring books, small puzzles, or card games. But here's the trick – don't bring out everything at once. Layer your entertainment like a strategic game plan. Start with conversation and coloring, then move to other activities if needed.
• Setting Expectations and Consequences: Before going out, have a calm conversation about your expectations. Be specific: "We sit in our chairs, use indoor voices, and say 'please' and 'thank you' to our server." Also, be clear about the consequences. If behavior becomes unmanageable, one parent might need to take the child outside for a break or, in serious cases, get the meal packed to go. The key is following through consistently.

Common Problems and Solutions

• The "I Can't Sit Still" Syndrome: This is probably the most common challenge. Kids have the energy to burn, and sitting still feels like torture. Before the restaurant, let them run around in a park or play area. Once at the table, involve them in conversation and decision-making. Ask them to help you choose appetizers or play simple word games. If they need to move, take them for a short walk while waiting for food – just one parent and one child at a time.
• The Volume Control Issue: Kids often don't realize how loud they're being. Instead of constantly shushing them (which rarely works), try the "restaurant voice" game. Demonstrate the difference between playground voice, home voice, and restaurant voice. Make it fun by practicing whispering and using "inside voices." Praise them when they maintain appropriate volume levels.
• Food Fights and Picky Eating: Avoid mealtime battles by checking the menu beforehand and ensuring there's something your child will eat. Consider ordering appetizers quickly if you know your kids get antsy when hungry. Teach them to try new foods in small amounts – the "one bite rule" can work wonders when introduced positively.
• "I Want That!" Meltdowns: We've all been there. Your child sees something on another table, and suddenly, it's the most desirable thing in the world. Prevention is key here. Before you even sit down, talk about what you'll be ordering.  Explain that everyone gets to choose their own meal from the menu. If a meltdown does occur, remain calm.  Remind them gently of your prior conversation and avoid giving in to demands. Sometimes, a quiet "time-out" at the table (a few moments of quiet reflection) can help.
• The "Runaway" Artists: Some kids see a restaurant as an exciting playground.  Running between tables is a big no-no, both for their safety and the comfort of other diners. Reinforce the "staying close" rule before you enter the restaurant. Explain that restaurants are busy places and it's important to stay near you.  If your child does run off, calmly but firmly remind them of the rule and consider shortening the meal. Sometimes, natural consequences (like leaving earlier than planned) can be a powerful teacher.

The Power of Positive Reinforcement 

Conclusion