How To Deal With Loss Of A Child

Losing a child is undefiable pain—deep enough that even words fall short. If you’re going through such an experience, this article is for you. 

Grieving the loss of a child isn’t something you can simply "get over." It’s rather about the unexpected twists and turns and the fact that there’s no timeline for this grief. Of course, it’s different for everyone. In the U.S. alone, every one in 14 children experiences the death of a sibling before they turn 18. This grief is not linear but messy, unpredictable, and often feels overwhelming.

Read below this article to learn about some helpful tips that can help you deal with the loss of a child.

Grief is that thing that you cannot outrun. It catches up with you in the most unexpected ways—sometimes when you hear a baby giggling in the grocery store or when you see a child of your son’s or daughter’s age at a family gathering. The sadness, anger, or even confusion is obvious.

Realizing these emotions instead of pushing them away is a significant step in the healing process. According to the American Psychological Association, people who actively engage in their grief and don’t suppress their emotions fare better in the long term compared to the opposite.

Grief can make you isolated. However, in this situation, it is important to reach out to those who love and care for you. A study released by The Lancet shows that people with strong support systems tend to recover from loss faster and more effectively. At the end of the day, it is okay to lean on friends, family, or support groups for comfort. 

Humor at this moment might be a distant reach; however, finding a little lightness—even in the darkest times—can be healing. And it’s okay to laugh when you are ready.

The expectations are not uncommon—most of which are unspoken. You would surely hear phrases like “You’ll get over it eventually” or “Time heals all wounds.” However, these phrases don’t work that way. The stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—don’t necessarily follow a set order. In fact, they can loop, double-back, and repeat as many times as your heart needs.

Remember, it’s okay to wake up and feel nothing one day only to be hit with an emotional wave the next moment.

Revisiting memories can be painful, but creating a space where you honor your little one’s life can bring some peace. Planting a tree, writing letters, or compiling a scrapbook can help grieving parents maintain a connection to their child. Try doing something special on their birthday to help keep their memory alive and work through the grief.

It might seem impossible now! But there will come a day when you find joy in life again. Yes, it won’t be the same day as before; however, slowly, piece by piece, you can discover ways to live alongside your grief. Almost 55 percent of bereaved parents eventually report being able to find meaning and joy in life again after the loss of a child. And happiness will sneak back into your life when you expect the least.

Losing a child can forever change the course of life. While it is important to find ways to smile back again—though this grief does not have a deadline, there’s nothing wrong with what you are feeling at the moment. It’s time to surround yourself with people that care and support you.