How Strict Parenting Affects Sibling Relationships

While strict parenting comes from love and concern, it ends up focusing more on discipline, responsibility, and values. However, in this struggle of reinforcing rules and regulations on children, most parents often overlook the family dynamics, or in particular, sibling relationships, which can get overwhelming at times.

It's not an uncommon scenario to notice your kids might be at each other's throats after a firm scolding or there’s a quiet tension in the house. The reality is, strict parenting might be playing a larger role than you realize.

Read below this article to learn how strict parenting can impact sibling relationships and why you need to give a moment to think twice before switching to this approach.

Did you know that strict parenting can lead to a dynamic where siblings become more competitive than cooperative? When one child always feels they’re walking on eggshells every time, lashing out at their sibling is not unusual. This worsens, especially if that sibling appears to be the “golden child” who rarely gets into trouble. In fact, the child who may be punished almost frequently might start to feel insecure and jealous of their sibling.

In the U.S. alone, 54 percent of adults experienced sibling rivalry during childhood, as per a survey. However, in such homes where strict parenting is prevalent, kids may not feel comfortable expressing their frustrations to their parents and instead take it out on their siblings. 

Sometimes, strict parenting can result in a divide-and-conquer mindset among siblings. If one sibling sees that the other is consistently in trouble, they may even try aligning with the parents to avoid the same consequence.

So, rather than standing up for each other, they may try to distance themselves. This way the bond between siblings becomes less of a team effort and more like a survival hunt. This ultimately strains their relationship over time.

According to research, overly strict parenting can lead to increased anxiety and stress in children. And the reality is that fear becomes a common bond between siblings, especially in homes that follow the strict parenting approach.

When this stress permeates further, kids reduce their engagement in healthy bonding activities—like playing together. Instead, they might isolate themselves, creating a household with low emotional energy.

In families with less strict parenting, siblings often team up against minor parental concerns. In fact, they even unite in harmless fun or even share a giggle over something as small as sneaking an extra cookie. However, it's completely opposite when it comes to strict regimes.

To add more, siblings raised in strict environments may even view each other as competitors. Moreover, to avoid punishment, they might conceal information from each other or even throw each other under the bus.

And the result is that teamwork within a unit ultimately takes a backseat.

Strict parenting certainly has a long-term impact on sibling relationships. The truth is, when siblings grow up in a household where love feels conditional upon behavior, there is a lack of emotional intimacy.

Moreover, the emotional disconnect they feel with their parents often translates into strained relationships with their siblings.

So, if you're thinking why your grown-up children aren't as close as you had wanted, it might be a reflection of the parenting approach you chose.

Even though strict parenting might be a great approach to raising well-disciplined kids, it impacts sibling relationships in the long run. Such parenting style often comes at the expense of sibling relationships, and the home may feel full of rivalry and feelings of jealousy. Therefore, a balance in kindness and firmness, together with some empathy, is what all parents need to nurture well-behaved children and ensure a sibling bond that is strong enough to last a lifetime.