"Do As I Do": The Heavy Responsibility and Joy of Setting the Example

Have you ever caught yourself saying something to your child, only to realize you don't follow that advice yourself? Maybe you've told them to limit screen time while scrolling through your phone. Or perhaps you've emphasized the importance of patience while losing your cool in traffic. If so, you're not alone – we've all been there.

As parents, we often focus on teaching our children through our words. We give them advice, set rules, and explain values. But there's an unspoken curriculum that's even more powerful: our actions. Our children are watching us, learning from us, and often mimicking us in ways we don't even realize.

Let’s be honest: being a role model is hard. It’s not just about the big lessons or planned teaching moments. It’s the small, unfiltered moments—the way we react when something goes wrong, how we treat others, how we talk about ourselves, how we handle stress—that really stick.

And when you're tired, juggling work, home, bills, and endless to-do lists, being mindful of everything can feel like just another weight to carry.

But here’s something many parents overlook in the chaos: your everyday behavior is already shaping your child’s world. Even when you're not trying to "teach," you are teaching.

And sometimes, that means realizing we need to pause and ask ourselves: Am I walking the same path I'm asking my child to walk?

Let's be real – consistent role modeling is tough. Life throws challenges at us that make perfect behavior seem impossible:

If you're feeling the weight of role model responsibility, take a breath. This isn't about perfection – it's about awareness and intention.

Start small. Choose one value that's important to your family and focus on modeling it consistently. Maybe it's kindness, respect, or honesty. When you mess up (and you will) and then own it, we model something powerful: accountability and growth.

"I shouldn't have raised my voice just now. I was feeling frustrated, but that wasn't a kind way to handle it. I'm going to take a deep breath and try again."

Now, let us talk about those golden moments. The ones that make it all worth it.

For example, when your child says “thank you” without being reminded, when they comfort a friend in distress with the same words you once used on them, or when they pause to take a deep breath instead of throwing a tantrum because they saw you do it first.

These moments feel small, but they are huge. They’re the quiet rewards of being intentional, of doing the hard work when it would be easier to just say, “Do as I say.”

Watching your child grow into someone kind, thoughtful, or strong—and knowing you had a hand in shaping that behavior by living it out yourself—there’s nothing like it.

That pride? That joy? It’s so pure. Because it means something clicked. They didn’t just hear you. They saw you. And they followed.

If you're reading this and thinking about all the ways you've fallen short as a role model, please give yourself grace. Our children don't need perfect parents – they need authentic ones who are trying their best and growing alongside them.

The parent who apologizes after losing their temper teaches something valuable about accountability. The parent who talks openly about struggling with healthy habits but keeps trying teaches persistence. The parent who admits they don't have all the answers models humility and lifelong learning.

Remember this: your children will forget many of your words, but they'll remember how you lived. They'll remember how you treated others, how you handled adversity, how you celebrated joy, and how you made them feel.

At the end of the day, our children don’t need superheroes. They just need us—imperfect, real, loving, growing parents.

The road of "do as I do" is not always smooth, but it leads to a relationship built on trust, respect, and real connection. Your child isn’t just learning from your words—they’re learning from your life.

And you know what? That’s not just a responsibility. That’s a gift.