The truth is—gentle parenting is often viewed as a peaceful and emotionally intelligent approach to raising kids. This way usually focuses on connection over control and understanding over punishment. But is it really practical? Yes, but it's not so simple.
Especially if you have ever tried to calmly negotiate with a toddler who is screaming because their favorite toy broke, you know exactly why we believe gentle parenting can be hard. Here are a few reasons why most parents feel gentle parenting is a little over the board.
Reasons Why Parents Feel Gentle Parenting Hard
Difficult to Stay Calm When You’re Tired
It's an undeniable fact that parenting is tiring most of the time. Did you know that parents of young children lose an average of 109 minutes of sleep per night compared to the time before having kids? This is a major reason why keeping your cool during a meltdown feels nearly impossible.
And gentle parenting, on the other hand, demands that you regulate your own emotions before dealing with your child. However, when you have already slept less, stressed, and overwhelmed, it's merely impossible to not take reactive responses even when you feel guilty right after you snap. Eventually, it takes time to unlearn those immediate reactions and deal with patience.
You Weren’t Raised This Way
For most of the parents, discipline had a completely different meaning back then. The ‘because I said so’ concept was common, and spankings were considered a totally normal approach to establishing rules. In fact, nearly 80 percent of parents today were raised with authoritarian styles.
Therefore, switching from a more traditional mindset to gentle parenting can feel unnatural at first. In fact, it often requires a lot of unlearning and stressful moments; it's quite easy to default to what you already know.Â
The Need for a Lot of Emotional Work
One of the biggest challenges of gentle parenting is that it forces you to confront your own triggers and childhood wounds. Yes, that's true.
So, if hearing a no from your child instantly makes you feel disrespected, or their tantrums make you feel like you're failing as a parent, there’s perhaps a much deeper reason.
Society Doesn’t Usually Support It
The harsh reality is—you will notice most people staring at you like you are failing at life if your child is throwing tantrums in a public place. Thus, gentle parenting is something that doesn't get approval from the outside world so easily.
In fact, many people still believe in traditional discipline methods. This ultimately makes parents second-guess themselves about their parenting choices. And this pressure often gets discouraging.
Takes More Time and Patience
Telling a kid to stop is faster than calmly explaining why hitting is not okay. So, it can be said that gentle parenting certainly needs more time and conversations, and yes, patience, which is especially tough when you are already stretched thin.
It is basically equal to fully learning a new behavior.
Conclusion
Gentle parenting is certainly messy and straight frustrating. But that doesn't mean it isn't worth your time. In fact, gentle parenting results in kids with better emotional regulation, along with a stronger parent-child relationship.
At the end, switching to gentle parenting just means you're doing the work. And that’s what makes the real difference.